But, here lately, I think I've realized too late --- you get to an age where you can't have an opposite sex best friend unless it's your spouse. I say this as a single person. I say this as a 25 year old single person. I have so many guy friends. Some of them I'd consider some of my closest friends. But, realizing more about boundaries and being healthy, it's just not possible to have intimacy and platonic intentions cohabitate in an opposite sex friendship. I'm talking deep intimacy....completely being known and knowing the other person...you know....that tends to happen in deep friendships. But, if you were married, it wouldn't be ok to have that with a guy friend....so, why is it okay outside of having that outlet in your life in a covenant? So, it would seem that you're using someone else to get what you really need without commitment and covenant...or, if there IS commitment and covenant -- then, it's unhealthy and awkward.
I've just become so committed to not having a male best friend. I'm paving the way for my future husband. I'm preparing every possible situation for your entrance. I'm intentionally doing a spring-cleaning of my life for you, love.
I've drastically changed some relationships in the way that I'd have to if my husband had just walked into my life and was preparing to immediately marry me. And, it just feels good. I mean my hot musician husband isn't even here yet and the healthiness of it all just feels so so so good. It's like-- why didn't i do this before? Why didn't I get taught about the intricacies of all this? All those boundary/intimacy talks at Bethel were really geared towards actual romantic relationships....telling guys to step up and step out...telling women to let them pursue and to be honest and respectful and all that blah blah blah....but, they didn't tell you what to do when you had a male best friend. What to do when your relationship with him had no boundaries but was so close that changing anything seemed to encroach upon the intimacy you had cultivated and didn't want to lose. What to do when you had to end a "friendship" because he was just your play boyfriend but it killed you because he was legitimately one of your very best friends and the lack of titles just made explanation awkward...
Someone needs to talk about this.
How is it okay to have an opposite best friend that you're not dating/married to? Really now.... at what point did your intimacy get too.... intimate...
People don't truly understand boundaries.
People don't understand why they're important. why they matter. how they help. how free you can be. how healthy you can be. how necessary being healthy is.
And, for the first time...I do.
No comments:
Post a Comment