I feel like God is showing me so many aspects of these three things. He's showing me how they're all intertwined in ways that would seem almost bizarre. Jesus says, "The greatest of these is love." But, because of love, we will have faith and hope. So, they're never far from one another. I'm not sure that they exist apart from one another.
But, right now, it's all about hope. Hope is so wrapped up in faith. It's basically believing something greater....both of those things are expectancy of better. Faith is like the drive behind hope. Faith inspires us to hope...because hope is the heartbeat of atmosphere changes.
I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that we change things with our words and with hope. Our words, which carry life in them, draw on change.
And, it's only out of love --because perfect love is devoid of manipulation and control-- that we will change, with our words and our hope, anything that comes against love. So, the things that come up next to and within love are pure and saturating. So, it's not manipulative or controlling to draw on love and safety and grace...
But, what is it inside of me that feels like if I pull on love and hope right now for a certain situation, that it will be manipulating? I know it's not my heart. I think I've figured out that I don't know where his heart is. I feel like I always have to appeal to the Christlike portion of something to get his attention. It's like I have to show him what is actually love and grace and pure and almost like telling him it's "wrong" to do otherwise if we are going to live like Christ. It's like punishment gets his attention...or failure.... So, I feel like I have to leave it just completely up to him. I can't appeal to the spirit within him...I can't point out the nature of the Lord's character.... because then it's like pointing out his weakness and faults and -- is it really pulling him higher? It's never my heart to make him feel like punishment or failure should get his attention... but, in the back of my mind, i know..or maybe just assume/think.. that it's not where his heart is right now. His heart isn't centered on walking in the Spirit so fully that love conquers all....grace and hope change things.... and sacrifice is worth it.
But, what about loving someone by loving them as "if" they're the person they want to be? I don't think I really know how to do that in a way that calls out greatness.... I know I want to live like that and i want to UNDERSTAND how to do that. I want to know the inner workings of the heartbeat of God that loves in such a way that always thinks the best and draws out destiny. It sounds great in words and all that... but, how does that work? How does that work when hearts have been so broken? How does that work when trust has never been fully given because it just absolutely does not exist to a full capacity in a relationship?
I want it to work. I don't want to be stifled in such a way that i can't trust and I can't love... I mean,i want to love so fully and completely and amazingly that i can go back again and again and try and try and walk with someone through things. But, I don't want to be a scapegoat and a doormat.
Such tension.
I want to find the balance.
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